Bereaving Out Loud
Confessions of a grieving daughter...

“Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak knits up the o-er wrought heart and bids it break.” ― William Shakespeare

Katherine L.

*Mic Tap* This Thing On?

February 2, 2023

Let me air it all out...

Hi, I'm Katherine. Welcome to my blog.

Let's just cut to the chase, this blog sounds like it could be pretty sad. I promise it won't all be sad. In fact, it's more of a journal chronicling my experiences of life since I lost my Mom in June of 2021.

I have spent the last year and a half navigating my way through grief. Honestly, that's kinda how I describe myself these days. And that's what I want to share in this blog.

There is no formula for grieving, no handbook or guidelines to follow. No timeline, in fact, there's really no end either. Depressing, I know. Not to say that some days aren't "easier" than others. They are. But, I would be lying if I said it ever actually goes away.

Here's what I do know in my short experience with it:

  • The weight feels less overbearing when you talk about it
  • It is okay to be sad, you don't have to pretend otherwise
  • It changes you (and that is okay!)
  • Sometimes we find paths through our sorrow that we otherwise would not have come across
  • I could still easily cry every single day
  • My chest is filled with a dull ache that never seems to go away
  • It sucks more than anything has ever sucked

I could go on and on, but those are some of the important things I've learned. So, what's the point of all this you may ask?

To talk it out, to share my experiences, to write down my thoughts even if no one else ever reads them. For me, personal growth and development has been an experience in all of this sorrow. I am here to talk about the moments where I felt extremely lost in my grief and the ways I have kept living too.

Some days, I didn't want to move forward because it hurt so bad. But, I somehow did. Since my Mom's death, I have traveled. I have gone back to school. I have made new friends. I have lost old ones. Most importantly, I am still here... I am still living. So, as much as I hate doing it without my Mom around, I must. And at first, it felt like my Mom had left me behind, and that was really frightening. I wasn't sure what my life looked like without her in it. I couldn't bear the thought. Honestly, it still feels surreal.

I guess my point is, and the theme of it all, is that I am still here. Those of us, the bereaving, are still here. We made it through another day. That alone is worth celebrating.

So, if you have come this far in the post, welcome. I have no rules or norms for how this will go, and what I will write about...because, well, that is what grief is like, and that, I have learned, is okay.


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